Writing Female Characters - Things to Remember

Content Warning - Sexual Assault

I see a lot of posts highlighting examples of male writers getting descriptions of female characters wrong. Of male writers falling back on tired sexist tropes that place women as props in the male main character’s storyline. But in a world where it’s quite possible to read works only written by men… and I must stress here the importance of diversifying if you haven’t already… it can be difficult to know how NOT to do those things. 

This is a visual representation of how not to do it.

So you need your female MC (main character) to die at the beginning? How do you do that without it being a trope? How would you avoid it while keeping your male MC’s story on track? Need your supporting female character to die at the end? Sure, it’s possible, but there are ways to do it while providing her with heroism of her own in the process. Is she a traumatised damsel? Well that’s a matter of perspective and hers is vitally important.

Let’s take a look at some of these repeat offenders in more detail:

Physical Descriptions

Boobs are there. Hair is there. Legs are there. Let’s not dwell on how bouncy or shiny or firm any of them are. What is she like to be around? What is her body-language telling you? 

Don’t dwell on the body, describe the woman.

The rest can be passing glimpses as the main essence of what makes her attractive draws the eye… and what makes someone attractive is more than their quivering breasts.

Is it the way she observes others? Is it the way she observes your MC?

For example: “her dark eyes scanned the room, and kept returning to me. I felt her stare burning into the side of my face as I averted my gaze, trying not to make eye contact. Trying to play it cool. But I couldn’t help it. I looked up and our eyes locked. The corner of her mouth twitched and she looked away again…”

In this description we feel a magnetic pull and it has nothing to do with her slim waist or tight skirt. Vitally, she is at least an equal player in the scene.

Her Motives Are Important (even if she’s a side character)

Think about what’s driving her. What does she want to achieve? Even if you don’t dwell on this in the actual story, her own motives should exist. Your male MC should ask her. Think about how you speak to real life women… you ask what they do and where they’re from. You ask what brought them here. And if the topic is pressing and you don’t ask, they will tell you what they want… and it would be nice if the topic has substance, rationale and your male MC listens. Better yet, have her rational motive contradict your MC’s because that’s an instant source of tension.

Her Trauma is Part of Her Own Story — Not His

The woman who is abused and/or murdered to motivate the male MC is such a tired trope. If you can avoid it, do. And give her an ongoing story… or at least hint at it.

In episode 2 of The Dex Legacy, Isra is assaulted and Ren murders every single member of the party who captured her, whether they were partaking or not. He rescues her. He is her White Knight.

Afterwards, Isra experiences mixed emotions related to his behaviour. On the one hand she saw him become the vicious killer she always knew him to be. On the other hand, she wanted that revenge for herself, and in killing them he denied her the satisfaction. It couldn’t have played out in any other way. She was physically incapable at the time. But emotions are many-layered and rarely consistent. She loves him and resents him at the same time. She has to forgive him for rescuing her.

So try not to take her revenge away. There is an assumption that if a woman is hurt, a man must rise to her aid and seek vengeance. Please, let’s change this. She has the right to fight her own battles and there are many ways she can do that. Have the male MC help her along the way, but leave the actual avenging to her. Have her follow her own path to seek revenge, while he goes in another direction to fight on a different, perhaps related, front.

When a man takes a woman’s revenge from her, he is taking the insult against himself. He is assuming ownership of her and her pain. He is denying her agency. This is a tired narrative and frankly goes against what happens in real life where women are left to fight their own battles while the majority of men turn a blind eye. So cut the b-s.

What We Can Learn From Man vs. Bear

A woman who has survived trauma may be attached to an evil character… but it can be cynical. If she’s experienced horrific cruelty at the hands of men, would she care about seeing men destroyed at the hands of a psychopathic beast? No. She doesn’t have Stockholm Syndrome, she’s supervising vengeful slaughter. She’s outsourcing to a more powerful being. But the revenge is still hers.

She could be cooking and cleaning for an evil Beast, but if the evil Beast is doing something she approves of for her own reasons, what she’s doing is “playing a part” and enabling. She is not a tool. This woman would rather throw in her lot and take her chances with a creature that might kill her, than with the men she knows will abuse and destroy her.

Does that make her a villain? In some ways, sure. Is she still a victim/survivor? Of course. Could she poison the Beast’s food at any time and end his life? Absolutely. Will she? Not while he’s doing what she wants! Does she have a line in her own mind that she won’t let him cross? That’s up to you… and her. But even a servant can be anything but subservient.

The Powerless Switcheroo

In the second book of Anna Smith Spark’s Empires of Dust trilogy, The Tower of Living and Dying, we see the greatest power-reveal I’ve ever read.

Basically, we know that the ex-high priestess, Thalia, has her own power, but the extent of it seems limited. Up until a single vital point in the narrative, the other male characters see a beautiful young woman who has lived a sheltered life, falling for the beautiful, shining Prince Marith and being showered with beautiful, shining things. If only she knew what he was! If only she had the means or strength to escape his clutches!

The reality of the situation is that she has lived a sheltered life, so she jumps on Marith at the first opportunity because she wants to experience all that life has to offer, including lust and love. She wants to see the wonders of the world, and he can and will show them to her. He worships her, and she likes that. She could kill him whenever. But she doesn’t want to.

Later in the narrative the full extent of her power is revealed and all doubts about her ability to control the situation are put to rest. She. Is. Awesome.

She’s in a Tough Spot, But Why?

Your male MC comes across a damsel in distress… but I can guarantee she wasn’t a damsel until that point. What led her to be in that position? Was she going after a bunch of brigands because they hurt someone she loved and she bit off more than she could chew in a vengeful passion?

Was she on her way to help someone, hoping to get through the woods unseen? Is she then worried that the person she was going to help will now be suffering?

Whatever happened, she was doing something BEFORE that incident, and she will continue to have her own motives AFTER.

Don’t forget this. Help her on her way. Get her back on her own path.

The Sacrificial Lamb

Does part of the story arc involve her sacrificing herself so that the male MC can be victorious? If so, revisit this moment. Make the vendetta her own as well as his. Make her sacrifice an independent choice. Is she a stepping stone, or is she a hero for getting him this far? Is she Samwise Gamgee, or is she just another foothold on Mount Doom? Does she make her decision from a position of power and agency, or is she simply obliged to do it so that he can have his moment?

If it’s power and agency, then you need to weave elements of her own story into the narrative up until that point. Don’t just give her a single speech outlining her life and motives thus far, before she falls on her sword.

She’s a main character in her own arc and plays a vital role in his, so give her the time of day. 

Her Own Adventures Can Be Independent

In the Monkey Island games, Elaine Marley has her own adventures. Guybrush is the hero, but Elaine turns up every now and again, effortlessly stepping in and out of his narrative as she pursues her own goals. She arrives at times when he needs wisdom and he might invite her to join him, but she’ll be on her way to another appointment, leaving him to take the next step in his journey, alone. 

This is no bad way for a narrative to unfold. They reach a crossroad together and go in different directions. Perhaps they run into each other in a tavern later and have a passionate reunion, catching up on the alternative timeline, before parting once more. That’s life. That’s two heroes doing their own heroeing.

If she’s a badass character who doesn’t want to stay at home, don’t assume she’ll stay at home, even if the male MC tells her to!

Different Sources of Power/Agency

From the male perspective it’s very easy to think that power comes from physical strength and/or magical ability alone. But the fact is power can take many forms. Money is one. Influence/charisma is another. Control of information and/or resources are also good options.

If you have a male character who can wrestle monsters but can’t afford a room at the inn, a wealthier character will be in control. And sure he could use his manly strength to physically wrestle money out of the hands of the womanly wench… but he’s your hero and that would be a clear dick move that your audience probably wouldn’t get behind.

Power dynamics are complicated.

If a woman knows something he doesn’t and won’t give up the information, that is a form of power. If he wants information but has the charisma of a worm, while she walks into a bar and can charm a mute into spilling their innermost secrets… that is a valuable skill.

To balance his manly strength, she does not have to be a powerful witch… or a warrior. She could be an academic or a well-regarded businesswoman. Perhaps she runs a brothel that offers reliable shelter to otherwise dangerous people on the run - thus earning her protection from those dangerous people.

Think about non-physical forms of power and how these might apply to the women in your stories.

Conclusion

What’s important to remember is that her point of view can be very different to your MC’s… and your own. Men look at women and assume we need help. That’s where mansplaining comes from. Men think women don’t understand. Men don’t need to listen because they know better. Men grow up thinking their view is more worldly and wise; that men are men and even forty year-old women can be described as “girls”.

This is horrendously misguided.

When you’re writing your female characters, don’t just think about their motives and goals… think about how power dynamics can be flipped. Think about how a person might achieve their goals indirectly. Think about how complicated emotional responses to traditional male actions can be. Think about revenge… about responsibility. Think about the intolerable frustration of being left behind and expected to stay there.

Some of these points of view will be totally alien to you, and that’s okay. We all have to start somewhere. Acceptance is the first step to cure. Look at a female character and ask yourself:

In what ways is she in control? 

And if she isn’t, and you’re absolutely 100% sure that she isn’t:

Is it realistic that a thinking, breathing human being with independent motives wouldn’t find a way to take control in any way, by any means necessary?